The Love Study: Phileo
If you have heard of the Greek term, Phileo, then you have probably concluded why Philadelphia is also known as The City of Brotherly Love. Phileo is not necessarily referring to a familial type of love, though it can be, but refers to deep friendship likely based on shared experience.
Jesus’ love for his friend, Lazarus, is called out specifically in John 11 when He mourns Lazarus’s death.
“Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”” John 11:35-36
I hope that you will read more into John 11 and see how Jesus made that dead man get up and walk out of that grave simply because he was a friend of Jesus! I’m thankful that’s still how it works. Still, let’s carry on with this specific love among friends.
I especially love the passage of scripture where Jesus reinstates Peter into ministry. It is a great example of the importance of understanding and differentiating love in scripture!
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love (phileo) me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love (phileo) you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love (phileo) me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love (phileo) you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love (agape) me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him a third time, “Do you love (phileo) me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love (phileo) you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”
John 21:15-17, (translations added)
Do you see what just happened?? This amazes me. There is so much context around this passage to set up. First of all, Jesus has been crucified and has risen at this point but He is not yet ascended. The last time Jesus and Simon Peter interacted before this conversation was when Peter denied Christ three times and fled. In the previous verses and chapter of John, you will find that Jesus finds some of the disciples, namely Peter, James and John, fishing. So not only did Simon Peter deny Jesus and flee the crucifixion scene, but he abandoned his calling and ministry altogether and retreated to his old life, job and even name! This is why Jesus is referring to Peter as Simon again. Jesus came out of a grave, went to His brother in his rebellion and called him back. Jesus gave Simon Peter three specific questions AND duties to fulfill after he responds.
I admit I have been quick to assume Jesus merely asked the same question over and over to make a point before I started digging deeper but this is not so. Jesus asks Simon Peter three distinct questions. The actual scripture is quoted above. I paraphrase here to simplify:
Is our friendship stronger than your friendships with the rest of these people?
Do you truly love me like a brother?
Do you love me sacrificially and divinely?
It’s interesting how Simon Peter didn’t catch the “agape” part. It’s way to easy to hear one thing when Jesus said another if we aren’t paying attention. That’s why it is imperative that we quiet our hearts and really listen to what the Lord is communicating with us.
The duties Christ called Peter to were as follows:
Feed my lambs.
Tend my sheep.
Feed my sheep.
Jesus is calling Peter to be the church. He is calling Peter to disciple people through life. Gather new believers, teach and train them in all that Christ taught him and encourage them as they mature in their faith.
Phileo propels agape for mankind where Hesed fuels agape from God. We share experiences with the Lord leading us into a deeper, agape love. We are no longer strangers to Jesus but coheirs with Him.
“Me and God, we be mates.” - Crocodile Dundee (had to!!)