Forgiveness
I feel compelled to write on the topic of forgiveness lately. Most people, especially Christians, are keenly aware that forgiveness is a major topic in the Bible. But, what about it? First, and most importantly, God has offered us forgiveness of our sins. He has desired to free us from the bondage of our wrongs against Him before we ever even noticed that we were in chains!
“How happy is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!” Psalm 32:1
“For I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin.” Jeremiah 31:34b
God does not forget in the sense that he failed to notice an issue. He has perfect, infinite knowledge of all things. He simply does not take part in petty grudges so when He forgives, the matter comes to an end.
“What about God’s judgement and wrath?” some may ask. It is further insight to God being perfect in His truth. “I am the way, the truth and the life.” John 14:6. When Paul said “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23 we are certainly being invited to something great but we must also notice that God sets a boundary. If we do not receive His forgiveness, we remain in sin which results in eternal death. This is not God bearing that grudge or picking on people. It is a glorious example that He is true to His word. We know what to expect with this issue. He is consistent and always follows through with what He says. We can take great comfort in that!
Where am I going with this? Well, let’s think about our role in forgiveness…
“Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12
“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another just as Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
“Do not murder.” Deuteronomy 20:13
WHOAAAA!! Where did that murder verse come in? Sound dramatic? It’s not. Hear me out. Better yet, let’s just let scripture speak for itself.
“You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, Do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Fool!’ will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But whoever says, ‘You moron!’ will be subject to hellfire. So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Reach a settlement quickly with your adversary while you’re on the way with him, or your adversary will hand you over to the judge, the judge to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison. I assure you: You will never get out of there until you have paid the last penny!” Matthew 5:21-26
Murder is a state of heart as much as it is an action. If you are holding onto bitterness toward another person, you are not at peace. You may have said something along the lines of “Oh I forgive them but I don’t have to like them!” Fine. Don’t initiate a coffee date but reread Ephesians 4:32 for me. If you are still angry enough to begrudge being in the offender’s presence then you do not enjoy their life. What does that leave for you to prefer of them? Their death. HARSH. Here is the whole point of Jesus saying that harboring anger is like murder.
Application:
How can we get from saying the words “I forgive you” through gritted teeth to truly letting go of an offense completely enough to sincerely love that person and be joyful for their good? How can we become a cheerleader for someone who just bothers us?
Remember that God saved you! He forgave and KEEPS forgiving you. I speak often of staying eternity-minded but it really is essential. The big picture keeps the small things small and the main thing the main thing.
Other people have forgiven you. Wherever there are humans, there is sin. We are not perfect and even the best of them has even accidentally done something wrong that required an apology. “Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them. This is the Law of the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12
Intention. As hard as it may be, sometimes we just have to make up our mind to get over it. PRAY! God will give you grace in your quest to have a more merciful heart. Maybe even try to come up with x number of positive things to remember about your offender.
This being last on the list is not necessarily in order… communication! It is almost always key in conflict resolution. Besides, if you are as right as you are or even think you are then you should have plenty of confidence to approach a matter if it is an option.* Admit your feelings kindly. Address what change you need to be able to move forward. Give forgiveness and have peace. “Let your graciousness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5
*Note: I want to acknowledge that it is not always safe or realistic to approach someone who has committed a harmful offense. This is when you give it to God and resolve the issue in your own heart to release your offender from your anger. This is an even more difficult path. Do not be ashamed to seek out counseling or mentoring through this process to have someone reminding you where you are healing along the way. I am praying specifically for this group today. The Lord loves you and so do I.
I am with you. It is just hard to let go of things sometimes. In light of eternity, it is a big deal to harbor bitterness and it is a big deal to forgive. We have a choice to make. One thing is worthy.