Ending Martyr Mom Mode
Here I am at 5:04pm last Friday eating my first “meal” of the day. I still hadn’t made my much needed grocery run so it’s a quick bowl of oatmeal. I know better...
It was one of those weeks where I’m [unnecessarily] coming in on Friday evening like Wile Coyote with the Acme anvil having, once again, fallen on top of himself leaving him dragging across the dirt road with one scrawny arm from underneath. You go-getters and mamas get me, right?..
I accidentally got caught up in “martyr mom mode” where I hyena my way through the day scavenging what I can grab so to move on to the next accomplishment’s completion which I’ve obliviously begun to idolize. Leftover Pbj crust, half of a muffin, a few apple slices..
I’ll just grab something in a little while, just after I get everyone fed…or clean up the table from lunch..
I’ll get some exercise and fresh air right after I clean this room.
”I’ll play more right after …[name that chore].”
This doesn’t help anyone. It’s selfish of me and sets a poor example for my kids in equipping oneself for whole-hearted servanthood. I can’t imagine it makes motherhood look as wonderful as it is capable of being either when I fall prey to the martyr mode.
I failed to prepare for that week as well as I would have normally required of myself. This is a lack of intention though the lie behind it suggests otherwise. Obviously, I was more tired and irritable because I was moving too fast to see that all I need to do is chill and eat. That right there is one way of observing my body as my own and not a surrendered vessel of the Lord’s. Selfish ambition.
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
“But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary..” Luke 10:41-42a
Y’all, here I am right off the bat full of conviction and needing to confess it. I’m sorry. I didn’t practice what I’m preaching. I told my kids I’m sorry too for being grumpy. They sweetly forgave me. Repentance is following. I’m prepared for the week, enjoyed Sabbath, planned meals and am enjoying extra playtime with my daughters. I want to be an intentional woman, wife, mother and friend. I want to bring life not stress on those around me.
Self care. It’s not about finding Bible based excuses for luxurious indulgences. (Not that the occasional fancy treat is a bad thing, of course!) It’s about ensuring that we remain able to serve in a way that blesses everyone. That means quality time with God, loving people and keeping ourselves functioning well enough to continue doing those things as long as we live.
Love you folks!