Strong

Have you ever chosen a “word of the year”? It’s a seemingly trendy fad but I’ve participated in the last two years for the sake of focused and continual prayer on a couple of matters.

This year my word was “strength” or “strong” or whatever tense of the word suited the moment but you get it. In choosing this area to focus on, my thoughts initially leaned into the expectation that if I would be diligent in my disciplines, live through experiences and grow enough that I would become stronger as a person. My hope was greater emotional strength especially in a year promising much change with my fourth child due to be born early in the year. Transitions have always been a bit of a battle for me so I wanted to be much more ready. I longed to embrace it all and be unswayed emotionally by new things, even such good ones.

Guess what happened? A lot. The sweetest child was added to our family, my husband left his long time job to pursue a career where he has been very happy. Such blessings! Also, one of my children was sick and doctors were not proving helpful, extended family called for heightened attentions, medical bills piled up, homeschooling took a much more full time approach, my own overall health had to recover after delivering a child, sleep went from great to broken, long time commitments started hosting question for us and my attention was just stretched to its full capacity. There was good change and hard change in all the basic corners of common life that families face but it still left me feeling so helpless and strained.

I continuously waited for that grand moment of overcoming where I was feeling confident and able. I longed to host a body, mind and soul that was unshaken by the throes of seasonal shifts. It was slow to be delivered, but the Lord delivers nonetheless.

I finally learned something. My definition of strong that I had failed to give more thoughtful consideration to led my expectation of what this deliverance of sorts would be. I was anxiously waiting to be tougher, perhaps hard-hearted even. Callousness that would numb me from emotional strain was what I anticipated so things wouldn’t hurt. So… I was basically (ahem.. literally) asking God to soften my heart to be more like His but also make me hard-hearted like Pharaoh.

Needless to say, God did not grant me such a thing. Praise Him for His protection and long suffering with me.

In my quest for discovering more strength, my weaknesses were highlighted in mighty ways. That victorious moment of overcoming was a recognition that God is strong and His strength is made perfect in my weakness as He promises in His Good Word.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Many are my weaknesses, folks, but GREAT is His strength that He rests on us so freely and willingly when we only ask for it. Praise the Lord for experiences that yield tangible and deeper understanding of His Word. Praise the Lord that He is real and near and involved. He cares so deeply for us.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

You see His power so much more clearly in surrender.